When my sisters and I were little, we would lay in bed at night naming our future children and planning trips to Disneyland in our “pink double-decker RVs”. I am now twenty-five, married for three years and still waiting for my own little ones to come along.
Very early in our courtship, my husband and I both agreed that we would like a large family. My husband’s wish is for eight boys so that he can have his own basketball team. We decided we needed to have a little time together as husband and wife before getting pregnant so we took Natural Family Planning classes prior to our wedding day. A couple of months after our wedding, we realized that we didn’t want or need to wait any longer before starting our family. I am the eldest of twelve children, so I took it for granted that I would be able to get pregnant on the “first try”. God’s plans must definitely differ from ours right now as month after month has passed with no pregnancy in sight. It has been discouraging to say the least – I have given up on buying pregnancy tests. My husband and I have seen a few doctors who see no obvious reasons as to why we aren’t conceiving.
Occasionally, I watch the baby and adoption shows on TLC or Discovery Health channels which only feeds my longing for a baby even more. The sad thing in many of these shows is the number of couples who use artificial means of conception – even though not all of the cases are successful, secular resources paint a tempting picture of the ease and success of these procedures. As a Catholic, I know these means of obtaining a pregnancy is contrary to the teachings of my faith. My desire to have a baby of our own is very strong but not as strong as my desire to practice and live my faith every day in every aspect of my life.
Although God hasn’t sent us our own little ones yet, He has placed in our lives fifteen other children to love and care for during this time of waiting. My husband and I became foster parents in August 2007 and what an adventure it has been! It has been such a learning experience for us as each child enters our home from different backgrounds/experiences. We care for infants thru toddlers, often from different races. At this time, we have four children under the age of three. It is quite humorous to load the kids into the cart at Costco and receive quite a few stares as people wonder what our story is with a white baby, Hispanic girl and two Haitian boys. I am proud of my multi-cultural family even though most days I don’t think I can handle changing one more diaper.
When I was asked to write my story, I didn’t feel like I had much of a story to tell. But then again, my story is just beginning and I know God has so many adventures in store for us whether that may be thru foster care, adoption and/or children of our own. Most days it is difficult to trust that He knows the strongest desires of my heart which makes me so thankful for the gift of my faith, the Sacraments and the supportive people around me to give me the patience I need every day. And who knows, maybe God is waiting for the “pink double-decker RV” to be “invented…”
