Overcoming Rape
I became pregnant at age 18 through acquaintance rape by a neighbor. I didn’t know that what he had done was considered criminal sexual assault and was against the law. I was so numb that I felt like I was dead, so I told no one about the rape. My mother died when I was 12, and my alcoholic father abused my six younger siblings and me on a daily basis. Shortly after I found out I was pregnant my father kicked me out of the house for good. I was literally homeless, jobless, motherless, penniless, pregnant, and alone. Everyone was encouraging and pressuring me to get an abortion saying things like, “You know what you have to do.” I was even offered money to “get rid of it.” I had no support and at times I felt like I was drowning in darkness. Yet I had one magnificent secret gift – the flourishing life of my unborn baby. This life gave me a thread of hope to begin to heal. After 29 hours of prolonged labor, I gave birth to a precious baby girl with blue eyes and dark hair, so tiny and so vulnerable. I named her Jennifer, and I knew she was a sacred gift to be loved and cherished. My daughter is wonderful and she has touched many lives including my own. I am so thankful for giving birth to her; I have no regrets.
If you have been raped, please realize the worst is over. I want to encourage you to reach out for help to start the healing process. My own painful experience is a reminder of what can happen when boundaries are crossed and sex is used as power and control. It is so important to wait until marriage! I claimed second virginity until I married a wonderful man who adopted my daughter. If you have been raped, please realize that virginity is not something that can be taken from you; it is a gift that you choose to give. You may not physically be a virgin, but you can decide in your heart to choose second virginity and save that gift for your husband on your wedding night. You’ll never regret choosing to wait until marriage!
-Cindy
Jennifer (Cindy’s daughter) writes:
Going through junior high and high school people would often say to me, “I’m against abortion except in the cases of rape and incest.” You can imagine how I felt when they said that! They thought abortion was a bad thing – except in my case. That was pretty scary from my point of view. When I would tell someone that I was conceived during an acquaintance rape I would always see a transformation in their face. I could tell that they were realizing their double standard. They would finally recognize that I (the baby) didn’t deserve to die just because of my father’s crime.
