I became pregnant at age 18 through acquaintance rape by a neighbor. I didn’t know that what he had done was considered criminal sexual assault and was against the law. I was so numb that I felt like I was dead, so I told no one about the rape. My mother died when I was 12, and my alcoholic father abused my six younger siblings and me on a daily basis. Shortly after I found out I was pregnant my father kicked me out of the house for good. I was literally homeless, jobless, motherless, penniless, pregnant, and alone. Everyone was encouraging and pressuring me to get an abortion saying things like, “You know what you have to do.” I was even offered money to “get rid of it.” I had no support and at times I felt like I was drowning in darkness. Yet I had one magnificent secret gift – the flourishing life of my unborn baby. This life gave me a thread of hope to begin to heal. After 29 hours of prolonged labor, I gave birth to a precious baby girl with blue eyes and dark hair, so tiny and so vulnerable. I named her Jennifer, and I knew she was a sacred gift to be loved and cherished. My daughter is wonderful and she has touched many lives including my own. I am so thankful for giving birth to her; I have no regrets.
If you have been raped, please realize the worst is over. I want to encourage you to reach out for help to start the healing process. My own painful experience is a reminder of what can happen when boundaries are crossed and sex is used as power and control. It is so important to wait until marriage! I claimed second virginity until I married a wonderful man who adopted my daughter. If you have been raped, please realize that virginity is not something that can be taken from you; it is a gift that you choose to give. You may not physically be a virgin, but you can decide in your heart to choose second virginity and save that gift for your husband on your wedding night. You’ll never regret choosing to wait until marriage!
Jennifer (Cindy’s daughter) writes:
Going through junior high and high school people would often say to me, “I’m against abortion except in the cases of rape and incest.” You can imagine how I felt when they said that! They thought abortion was a bad thing – except in my case. That was pretty scary from my point of view. When I would tell someone that I was conceived during an acquaintance rape I would always see a transformation in their face. I could tell that they were realizing their double standard. They would finally recognize that I (the baby) didn’t deserve to die just because of my father’s crime.